Self-Care List With My Favorite Ideas

If you’re new to the mental health scene online, you may have stumbled across something called a self-care list. It’s this awesome little list you keep close at hand of things that make you feel happy, lift your spirits, or just keep you on this side of a break down. I have one, and I think it’s a great idea for everyone to have one. The activities can be anywhere from a few seconds to a whole weekend. Just keep the list close and use it when you need it.

Some of my favorite areas to focus are environment, social, solitude, and peace. It’s important to remember that self-care isn’t just facials and baths, it’s really being aware of yourself and what you need at the moment.

Here are some of my favorite ways to practice self-care.

Read a book
Go for a walk
Spend some time coloring or reading with my nephews
Listen to music at full volume
Meditate in nature
Journal
Listen to ASMR
Bath bombs or hot shower
Cold shower
Do something that scares me
Reflect on my goals, thoughts, and limitations
Facial
Spend some time alone staring at the ceiling or wall while contemplating anything and everything

Self-care isn’t one size fits all. Hopefully, you get the idea of what self-care and the list is. Let me know if you were inspired by any of these ideas.

Why You Should Exercise When You’re Anxious (Even When You Really Don’t Want To)

Exercise is my least favorite thing. I absolutely hate it and will do whatever I can to avoid it. I know that it’s really good for us, especially when we have mental health issues. I’ve seen how good it can be for us first hand. So why do we still hate doing it? For me, it’s because I don’t like to sweat. Why would I want to spend my time sweating when I can spend my time reading? For others, it’s boring, too hard, or there’s just not enough time in the day. Here’s a few reasons why we should cultivate the habit when we’re anxious.

Burns anxious energy

Exercise tends to burn the energy out of us. When we’re anxious, we’re basically a live wire thrumming with energy. Exercise allows us a productive, healthy way to cope and burn the excess energy.

Time to silence the thoughts (or think them through)

This goes both ways depending on the person and the form of exercise. If I’m doing body weight exercise or walking, I can take the time to think through my problems and swirling thoughts. I find it easier to see a solution when I’m also burning out the excess energy. When I’m doing yoga, though, I find myself tuning into my body and I spend less time ruminating on the thoughts.

Build confidence and endurance

With exercise comes confidence. We look better, we feel better, and we learn that we can do something we didn’t think we could. This all builds confidence. It also teaches us endurance. After all, if we can push through the pain to do just 5 more squats or pushups, then why can’t we find the endurance to do the thing that scares us?

Increase mood

Perhaps the best reason to exercise when anxious, is that it releases the feel-good chemicals in our bodies. Ever heard of a runner’s high? Exercise makes you feel good when you’re done. It’s an automatic better mood. All you have to do is get up and move for a while.

There are so many more reasons to exercise when you’re anxious, and a million more reasons to make it a regular habit. Hopefully, these will inspire you to get up and move the next time you find yourself overthinking and building up to a panic attack. Let us know how you prefer to exercise in the comments.

How To Get Better Sleep When You’re Anxious

We’ve all been there. The thoughts are swirling, the heart is racing, and every time you turn to look at the clock, the frustration sets in. You can’t sleep because your anxiety won’t let you stop thinking. Then you get more anxious as the night shortens and sunrise creeps closer. It sucks, but it happens. Here are a few ways to fall asleep faster, stay asleep, and wake up when your anxiety is giving you fits.

Falling asleep

Stretch

Take a few minutes to work the tension out of your muscles. This will help you prepare to fall asleep without having all the muscles in your body clenched and the grimace on your face.

Journal

Take a few moments to write down all the swirling thoughts. Keep the journal close to your bedside.

Meditate

Take 10-15 to sit in silence and let the rest of the problems go.

Turn out the lights

All of them. Don’t have any lights on in the area you sleep in. Even the smallest of lights will interrupt your sleep.

Staying asleep

If you wake up in the middle of the night and have trouble getting back to sleep, follow the previous steps. Don’t lie there bemoaning the lost sleep. Get up and do something. Just keep the lights low and the activity light. Go back to bed when you start feeling tired again. Be sure to keep your room as cool as you can.

Waking up

Set your phone/alarm on the other side of the room

I had to start doing this when I began the nasty habit of snoozing my alarm. It’s a whole lot harder to stay asleep after you’ve had to get up and move.

Make you bed immediately and then open the curtains

This not only provides yet more barriers to returning to slumber, they also help kick you into productivity.

Cold water

Splash your face with cold water to continue waking up. Try brushing your teeth with cold water as well.

Sleep is essential to living a healthy life, and this is especially true when you live with mental health disorders. Hopefully, some of these tricks will help you get some good sleep.

Letting Go and Learning To Go With the Flow

We don’t like letting go of control. Scary things can happen when we’re not in control. People form terrible opinions, things fall apart, and the world can feel dark and dangerous with threats around every corner. At least, this is what it feels like for me.

This is one of my biggest struggles. I hate the feeling of not having control. Everything that I do has a plan, and that plan has a back-up plan and so on and so forth. This got so bad that I was scared to even leave my house for fear of what could happen. Then one day I had a realization. I wasn’t in control. I was so out of control that I couldn’t even control my reactions to my fear. This was the day a change began. I started my journey to making peace with my anxiety. It’s been a rough road, but I’m finally comfortable enough with my journey that I can share the skills and mindsets that I have learned to help cope when I don’t have control.

Acceptance

The first thing you have to realize is that you’re not in control of everything. You simply can’t be. You can’t control people’s opinions or thoughts, the way the world behaves, or how your own body behaves all the time. Things happen, circumstances change, and you have to learn to roll with it. You cannot control everything, but you can control how you react to the circumstances given to you.

Breathe

When things get out of my control, I panic. Very quickly, this can turn into a panic attack. The first thing that I have learned to do when I lose control is take a deep breath. My favorite breathing technique is box breathing. This grounds me and gives me some time to think my way out of my panic. Anxiety will still hang out, but I can handle that.

Focus on Now

We only the present moment. When we worry about loss of control, we tend to worry about what will happen without that control. The future moment is abstract. We don’t know what’s coming and we can’t control it. Don’t worry about the future moment. Stay focused on this present moment, the moment we’re dealing with right now. Remember to stay grounded in the present moment, take a deep breath, and then do what you need to and go with the flow.

Change your mindset

There are several things that you can do to change your mindset. Journaling, affirmations, reflection, and meditation are just a few. This is not a change that will happen overnight, but they will occur if you practice them. These are some of the shifts that have happened for me:

This is happening for me, not to me. Something good will come of this, or something bad was avoided because of this.
Someone else’s opinion of me is not my responsibility. My job is to be myself and to continually strive for my higher self.
I cannot control the behavior of others. I can only control how I react to them.
The past is gone, the future hasn’t happened yet. Only the present moment exists.
The worst case scenario is not the likely scenario.
I have the power to handle whatever life throws at me. I just have to breathe and then react.

I hope these things will help you learn how to go with the flow and feel less intimidated when things are out of your control. It’s a scary place to be. If I can learn to make peace with a lack of control, then I know that anyone can. Let us know how you cope when this happens.

Don’t Think About An Elephant

Have you ever heard this phrase before? Basically, the idea is that you don’t normally think about elephants (or maybe you do, I won’t judge) but once someone tells you not to think about an elephant, it becomes almost impossible not to think about elephants.

Let’s apply this concept to anxiety. When our anxiety isn’t present, we don’t think about it very much. When we feel it, though, it can easily become all we think about. Then the more we think about it, the worse it gets. So what do we do now that we’re building up anxiety about our anxiety?

Take a breath

Take a breath or take a few. This gets oxygen into your brain and helps you think more clearly. Do some meditation, box breathing, or just take a few deep breaths to center yourself back to Earth.

Distraction

This is pretty important. When your thoughts are obsessive and overwhelming, you need to find something else to think about. One of my anxieties stems from traveling of any sort. So when I go on a road trip, the thoughts immediately start spiraling until I lose control. I distract myself with car games, as lame as that sounds. I find something else to concentrate on. I can’t think about elephants when I’m trying to beat my nephew at the alphabet game after all.

Acceptance

Another thing that helps is reminding yourself that it’s okay to have anxiety. Instead of getting yourself worked up and making it worse, stop. You are experiencing anxiety. Okay. There’s no need to panic about it. Accept that you are dealing with it and find a coping method to help. Feel it and then let it go. Worrying about your anxiety just means you suffer twice.

Talk about it

This is where your tribe comes in. I’ve found over the years that sometimes it helps just to talk about it. Call your friend, your mom, your counselor, your significant other, and let them know that you’re dealing with anxiety. If they know how to help, then they can help you deal with it. My cousin calls me when she’s dealing with severe anxiety or a panic attack, and because I know how to help, I walk her through it and reassure her that she’ll be okay. Tribe is so important.

Having anxiety sucks. Stating the obvious, right? Having anxiety about having anxiety just makes it worse and can be completely unnecessary. There are strategies to help you cope so that you don’t accidentally make regular anxiety turn into a panic attack. Let us know how you handle this situation in the comments.

Checking In With Yourself

Anxiety makes our bodies work overtime and this can have a negative effect on them. Self-care is a great tool for combating the stress our anxiety puts them under, but how do you know when you need to take a break?

This is where it becomes important to check in with ourselves. Once a week, sometimes even more often, I like to sit down in silence for a bit and check in. There are three ways that I do this every time.

Journal

I sit down with pen and paper and I just write. This is similar to morning pages for me, except that I really focus on my emotions. I really take the time to figure out how I’m feeling, as well as how I’ve been feeling through the week. Then I break it down to figure out what I could have done differently, make peace with what I couldn’t have changed, and make a plan for approaching future situations differently. This is my emotional check in.

Meditate

Next, I’ll turn on some meditation music and allow myself to really tune into my mental health. This is the time when I focus on my mindset, determine if there’s something I’m obsessing over, if I’m overwhelmed, and then spend some time in meditation to let it all go. I’ll go back to my journal after this to make notes of what I learned. This is my mental check in.

Body scan

Then I’ll check in with my body. This requires more silence, so I’ll sit down and scan my body. From the top of my head to the tips of my toes, I pay attention to every part of my body. I figure out what it’s telling me. Am I tired, is my heart racing, does anything hurt, etc. This is my physical check in.

Self-care plan

Lastly, I’ll take the next few minutes to determine how and where I need to take care of myself. Where do I focus my self-care? If my mental state is rough, but my physical and emotional health are okay, then I’ll prioritize some time outdoors. If I’m okay emotionally and mentally but not physically, then I’ll prioritize rest or exercise. If I need to focus on my emotional health, then I’ll spend some time giving myself a break emotionally by watching a comedy or spending time with my tribe.

Self-cafe is a really great way to take care of ourselves, but it’s not going to do any good if you don’t know where you need to focus it. It’s not all face masks and sleeping in, it’s also getting outside and spending time with the people we love. Self-care is taking care of ourselves in every aspect. So how do you customize your self-care?

Four Benefits of Nature with Anxiety

Have you ever noticed that no matter how bad your mood is, just a little bit of time outdoors will dramatically increase your mood? That’s the magic of nature. If you deal with anxiety or depression, spend some time outdoors. Seriously. Even if you’re elbow deep in study materials, pack them up and take them outside to a quiet place.

Calmer Thoughts

Nature has a way of calming your thoughts. Once you’re outside with the trees, the breeze, and the silence, your thoughts start to calm. Your mind starts piecing together solutions to your problems, and you begin to find it easier to think as you sort it all out. It’s also easier to retain information when you’re outside.

Increased Creativity

This is also true for your creativity. My best ideas happen when I’m alone in nature. There’s just so much life going on around you, but there’s so much silence as well. This is a great time to work on creative projects or spend some time puzzling over troubling thoughts. You’re more likely to find creative solutions.

Sense of Peace and Happiness

Typically, if you find yourself surrounded by nature, you also find yourself in a quieter place. Even if you’re just camped out on your front porch or sitting on your balcony, you’ll find that you can reach a more peaceful mindset. If you can’t, you might want to try moving to a different location. You find yourself reflecting on the things that you’re grateful for or humbled by the way life goes on around you. This leads to some peace which leads to increased happiness.

Deeper, Cleaner Breathing

It’s nature. The air is typically cleaner outside. Step outside, take a deep breath, and let the clean air sink into your lungs. Fresh air inspires deeper breathing and all that clean air can do wonders for an anxious mind.

Whether you’re visiting the ocean, a nature trail, the local park, or just your own balcony, getting outside can have several benefits. If you’re anxious, stressed, or depressed, step outside for a while. Let us know how it goes in the comments down below.

Living with Other People

I’ve found over the years that there is one thing that upsets my anxiety more than anything else. That thing is my family. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and they are one of my top priorities. They are really great at pushing my buttons though. Worse, they know exactly which ones to push. So how do we deal with the people we live with, especially when they’re really good at causing anxiety?

Set boundaries

When you live with other people, you have to set some boundaries. These are the things that you need them to respect. Sit them down and simply explain what you need. Do you have your own room but people are constantly barging in? Explain that you need that to be you safe space. Tell them you need them to respect that closed door. Be patient when they forget, because they will. Just gently remind them to respect it. Do you need some time alone or some quiet? Tell them you’re having a bad day, explain what you need, and ask them to respect it. More than likely, they’ll be more than happy to respect your needs as long as you’ll respect theirs too.

Rules or guidelines

Living with others won’t work very well if you don’t have rules or guidelines. When strangers, or even friends, live together, there are going to be bumps and issues that arise. When living with the people that know your buttons and how to press them, fights, arguments, and disagreements will occur. Rules or guidelines lay out the expectations for all parties. This will prevent a lot of stress and anxiety that comes with living with other people. Heads will roll otherwise, especially when it comes to siblings.

Honesty

When you live with anxiety, your roommate or family member needs to be aware. Have an honest conversation about what having anxiety means for your everyday life, special circumstances, and what to do when the anxiety is really bad. For example, explain what a panic attack is and how you handle it. They may be able to help. At the very least, an honest conversation will let them know that having their significant other over every day might just be too much and that sometimes you need some space.

Self-care

This is also something that you need to pay attention to when living with others. If your roommate has friends over and you have social anxiety, you can decline being with them. Just let your roommate know that you aren’t comfortable at the moment and you need to do your own thing. Put in your headphones, read a book, play a game, or take a long bath or shower. Pay attention to what you need and take care of yourself.

Living with others while living with anxiety can be rough, but that doesn’t mean it has to be impossible or uncomfortable all the time. These are just a few ways to ensure that living with someone else will run smoothly, and that you know how to approach the situation when things aren’t running smooth. Do you live with roommates or family? Let us know how you handle the rough patches in the comments.

Mental Health Awareness: Tapping

Tapping is form of acupressure that is sometimes used to treat both physical pain and emotional distress. It’s commonly used to treat anxiety. Instead of using needles, however, you simply use your finger tips. Is it just me or does the sound of needles piercing your skin sound painful? Real talk for a second, this is still being researched so I can’t guarantee anything about it. It works for me on some days, yet on other days it does absolutely nothing but make me feel like an idiot. Let’s give it the benefit of the doubt though.

There are a myriad of videos on YouTube and instructional blog posts all over the internet to help you figure out how to do this. I would recommend Brad Yates, but there are several others.

The benefits of tapping are plentiful. Tapping is easy to learn and free to do. You don’t need to visit a doctor or specialist. It can be done anywhere at any time. You don’t need to lie down or get comfortable, so you can do this while prepping for a big exam or when you get nervous entering a new environment. There are no side effects, you don’t take any medicine, and you are in complete control of your treatment. It’s success rates are high (though still being studied), and improvement happens pretty quickly.

This trick seems to be hit or miss for some people so it may not work for you. It’s definitely worth a try though. I would just suggest that you try to do this alone until you get used to doing the movements. The only side effect I’ve experienced was being embarrassed when my nephew asked me what I was doing. Let us know how it goes in the comments.

Mental Health Awareness: Meditation

Meditation is one of those controversial topics that no one seems to agree on. Studies have shown that regular meditation can do quite a few things for the body and mind, including creating neural pathways that help regulate emotions like anxiety. Not everyone is a fan of the practice, but it is a valuable practice to add to your day. I’m a firm believer that anyone can meditate at anytime and anywhere.

So what is meditation? Meditation is the practice of focusing on one thing and letting everything else go. Many people concentrate on their breathing. This does not mean that you empty your mind of any and all thoughts, rather it simply means that you casually observe as they pass and then you let them go. Many guided meditations compare thoughts to clouds passing in the sky.

Now that we know what meditation is, how do we do it? As previously stated, you concentrate on one thing and let anything else that comes up pass. I would suggest sitting somewhere comfortable and quiet, sit down cross-legged with your back straight but not stiff (I roll my shoulders to get into this position), and putting your hands in your lap or on your knees. Then you close your eyes and just focus on breathing for a few minutes to an hour. If you are not comfortable with doing this practice without guidance, there are many guided meditation apps that you can download and use. Headspace, Calm, and Insight Timer are just a few, though Insight Timer is the best free meditation app that I have found.

Now that we know what meditation is and how to do it, we can move on to discussing ways that meditation can help with anxiety.

Calm the chaos

We have many thoughts and fears running through our heads at any given moment. When you deal with anxiety, you may find yourself overwhelmed or dealing with the phenomenon of overthinking. Taking a few minutes to detach from the whirlwind going on in your mind will help calm the storm raging through your brain.

Let go of the drama

If you’re like me, you tend to blow things out of proportion and the drama begins. It’s not on purpose, I just jump to the worst possible scenario and then need to begin making a plan to deal with it immediately. I get upset when no one else seems to think the situation is as dire as I think it is. Taking a few minutes to meditate can help you take a step back and allows you to look at the issue from a less panicked viewpoint.

Find answers

Anxiety has the ability to give us many paths and answers to questions that come to us. Questions about where we’re going with our life, if we’re doing the right thing, and many other questions. Meditation gives us silence and allows us the quiet to let our intuition give us the answers we seek. After we receive our answers, it’s up to us to trust ourselves and follow the right path.

Relax your body

Anxiety is a thing that makes us tense and tight all over. Have you ever had your thoughts start racing and then felt the anxiety basically pour over you? It almost feels like someone started pouring warm water into your chest around your heart and you can almost literally feel it slide down your form, solidifying as it goes. Meditation brings much needed air into your body, and as you release the breath, it allows that tenseness and tightness to release. Of course, this is when the shaking starts as the adrenaline wears off. You can breathe your way through this as well. Just breathe and let the thoughts and tightness pass.

Whether you suffer from anxiety or depression on a regular basis, or you just want to add some mindfulness into your days, meditation is a great way to do this. It allows you to casually observe your thoughts without engaging in them. Eventually, meditation can even help you understand your thoughts. Comment down below and tell us if you practice meditation and how it helps you.